Saturday, July 13, 2013

How A Conversation With Your Crit Partner Can Turn Insane

Soooo, as I'm sitting on my deck tweaking and revising like a mad woman and my bestie CP Alisha Klapheke is sitting on the beach somewhere with sand between her toes and all that sunshine, I decide I must text her about the terrible things I must do to my character this morning. She knows the scene, I've discussed it with her and we agreed...Jesse must feel pain, lots of pain. Of course, I've been procrastinating.

What ensued from an innocent text turned into one crazy thirty minutes that ended with us hoping the FBI and the NSA would send us to the Wall.

Here's that insane conversation, Caution: laughter and eye-rolling my occur. And probably some misspelled and autocorrected typos!

Me: (first text of the morning) Oh, no. I have to write THE scene. revised the one where Jesse tells Scarlett about Wounded Knee, made me vaclemnt.

Alisha: made you what?

Me: Vaclemt? Is that the word. You know choked up?
Me: And now I keel Cooper in hotel explosion

Alisha: It's verklempt. It's Yiddish.
Alisha: Ha

Me: Ahh I knew that.

Alisha: Put on some sad music like accidental babies.
Alisha: That song rips me apart.

Me: What's that?

Alisha: And it's good for the sort of love triangle

Me: Ooh is that the name of the song?

Alisha: Yup

Me: Who's the band?

Alisha: Damien Rice
Alisha: Master of sadness
Alisha: That's my only term

Me: LOL Good. I will get it. Because it's about to get deep in her
Me: Here
Me: That sounded soooo wrong

Alisha: Haha
Alisha: Good luck!

Me: (thinking the conversation is finished - little did I know) I will torture you with this chapter soon

Alisha: I will get the tissues

Me: Oh yes. I hope so....I'm procrastinating by buying iTunes songs

Alisha: That's not procrastination that's prep

Me: I'm looking for songs from Pearl Harbor. Wanted that Faith Hill song. Just realized, even though I don't like her, her songs and voice match Scarlett

Alisha: (probably thinking the conversation should have ended minutes ago) That's cool
Alisha: What song was on that? Can't remember

Me: There you'll be

Alisha: Oh yeah I liked that once upon a time

Me: Haa Haa she had some catchy songs. The others remind me of Sandra Bullock movies - practical magic and hope floats

Alisha: I ADORED practical magic
Alisha: I DETESTED Hope Floats

Me: Me too I like hope floats a little for Harry

(at this point we dive into fan obsession over Harry Connick Jr)

Alisha: I do adore Harry. I used to be a fanatic for him

Me: Oh me too. I saw him and got his autograph at the Ryman

Alisha: Posters, CDs, pins, the works
Alisha: (realizing what I just said) Aaaaaaaaaa

Me: Yes!

Alisha: So jealous
Alisha: At least my seventh grade self is!

Me: I got one of those posters they make at that downtown printing place and he signed it

Alisha: Aaaaaa
Alisha: Stop torturing me
Alisha: You suck

Me: LOL. I saw him in New Orleans too as the King of a Matdi Gras float (oh my flying fingers messed that word up)
Me: Haa Haa

Alisha: You seriously suck

Me: I am now researching sound effects of an explosion. Envy me!!

Alisha: Kapow! Kazaam!

Me: LOL. I need more of the physical

Alisha: I was kidding! Hee Hee

Me: Haa Haa Okay

Alisha: Once again if the FBI ever checks a writers computer...
Alisha: We would be doomed

Me: Right!! I was researching old NYC maps and google popped up and said I was making bizarre searches. I freaked. Like what?

Alisha: What did it say?
Alisha: You are SO on a list

Me: It went to a page I'd never seen and said I was making irregular search or something like I was a bot??
Me: I imagine I am especially after all the angel demon stuff and now explosions and old transit routes in NYC

Alisha: Whoa. That's creepers
Alisha: Yeah you're shady

Me: I know. I have never ever seen that before
Me: LOL Shady is my middle name

Alisha: I don't know you

Me: Right. You and all you Edinburgh grotto look ups 0.o
Me: We are plotting world domination

Alisha: No one cares about the Scots

Me: (continuing with my world domination plot and how the conversation ALWAYS turns to Game of Thrones) With Jon Snow and King Robb

Alisha: (still lamenting the poor Scots) Poor things
Alisha: (realizing I've brought up the boys) Yea!!!!!

Me: (back to the poor Scots) Poor kilted sexy babies

Alisha: We shall prevail
Alisha: Word

Me: (back to not getting taken to jail by the FBI) Because like Jon Snow...we know nothing
Me: (with insane idea) I should post this insane conversation on my blog You know

Alisha: Yes
Alisha: Me too bc I blog like constantly
Alisha: Ummmmm
Alisha: Yeah

Me: It would be funny and exonerate us from the NSA

Alisha: Hahahaha

Me: I need things to blog

Alisha: DO IT

Me: Oh it is so done!!

Alisha: I'm too Purdy for prison

Me: Maybe they'll take us to the Wall

Alisha: Well maybe not
Alisha: (realizing I've slipped in another Jon Snow reference) Aaaa!

And that is how crazy writer talk gets started.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Before You Hit Send

While I've been dwindling with ideas for my Steampunk posts, I thought about a new post series.

I've been very busy the last month with the extraordinary opportunity to serve as an Agency Intern for the Corvisiero Literary Agency. Right now this means primarily looking over queries and filing them. But I see so many common mistakes and thought I would share those sorts of things so you guys in the trenches (and trust me as a querying author, I'm right there in the trenches with you) can make your query stand out.

Today's topic is Word Count.

There are dozens upon hundreds of websites that post appropriate word counts for every genre. I suggest, no I highly recommend, you do this research to find out what is acceptable word count. You'd be surprised how many queries I see where the count is too high or even too low for specific genres.

The reason you should know your targeted word count is because for instance, hypothetically, if you are querying a 150k YA contemporary, well that's probably too long. This tells the agent, or in my case the Intern, right off the bat that there might be a problem. It could be overwritten pages or unnecessary scenes. It means your MS may have the first draft problem called Walk the Dog, an amateur author syndrome where you have written every action down, getting the character from point A to point B to point C and D. Ultimately it boils down to querying too soon before you've revised your manuscript.

It can mean, that while you have lovely descriptive details, you may have two or three sentences describing everything when just two or three words fit better. It means that instead of setting the scene, you've spent an entire page or two describing everything in so much detail that it isn't believable that the character would waste all this valuable time and space on the page to reflect on the description when they should be gearing up for action or reacting to something or someone.

It can also mean that, unfortunately, you may ramble, scenes may drag and the overall pace is slow. The key to remember is that every word, every scene, every chapter must serve a specific plot centric purpose. Most of all, it must hook the reader to keep them turning pages.

On the other hand, I come across queries with too low a word count. A suspense thriller clocking 40,000 words...I'm shaking my head. Low word count indicates to me, Intern, that the story isn't as developed as it should be. It could mean that maybe it's all action without those slower scenes of reflection a character will have before diving head first into their next reactive action or goal. It can mean that subplots weren't introduced or fully intertwined or nicely wrapped up. It can mean that maybe not all the characters, especially the villain, has been fleshed out to the best potential. Or you haven't given your hero or main character enough room to grow emotionally, because as readers we want to see a character grow through their experiences.

Also find a lot of queries where the word-count is completely omitted. To be honest, nine times out of ten I just think you haven't done your homework in how to write a good query, but that one percent I think "Are you hiding something? Is your wordcount so ridiculously high or low that you don't mention it?" If that's the case see above and start revising before you hit send.